Snow Place Like Home

Ho, ho, ho. I was in Italy for the past week or so and returned on Thursday with a nasty cold that had me down for the count. To all those on that United flight—I’m very sorry you are now probably ill because of me. If it’s any consolation, I watched Get Smart on the airplane and didn’t like it. So we all suffered on that flight. I was able to secure some myrrh and recover from this cold—you know, myrrh isn’t used nearly as much today as in Biblical times, and that’s a shame. The stuff heals better than the most powerful antibiotics.

Sorry for the delay, but I’m here for good now, ready to tear this joint up until Christmas. PC reports that the snow is falling in Chi-town. The cold has reached Central Virginia, but no white precip just yet. I’ve attempted to contact Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel for a special 77 Santas forecast. Thus far, he has not returned any of my letters, emails, phone calls, or personal visits to his office and home. I’m sure he’s just recovering from hurricane season and will get back to me as soon as he can.

But I’m in the mood for a good old fashioned snow-down.

Purple Snowflakes – Marvin Gaye
I’ve never seen purple snowflakes. Perhaps this is something I should also ask Mr. Cantore about. I believe it might have something to do with global warming or psychedelic drugs. Perhaps a combination of both.

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – Vaughn Monroe
This is my favorite version of the song. Monroe sounds like he’s three sheets to the wind, and there’s just a relaxed feeling to this one.

On A Snowy Christmas Night – Elvis Presley
Little known fact: while Elvis was recording this song, he insisted that sawdust painted white be dropped lightly from the studio ceiling. By the fourth take, Fidge McPadgit, the midget bassist, had to be placed on top of the piano to avoid drowning in the fake snowflakes. Luckily, Elvis nailed this song on the eighth take, saving the studio band from sawdust suffocation.