September 14, 2007

We Don't Give Damn for the Whole State of Michigan

Columbus , OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Franklin County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Michigan Wolverines , whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Tick Tick Boom – The Hives

The “tick, tick” you hear? That’s the sound of Penn State’s Dan Conner running up behind you. The “boom” is him pummeling you eight inches into the ground. Once PSU gets through Buffalo this weekend, we're going to The Shit House and taking on those Wolverines for some long-deserved payback.

Be back Sunday for the second disc of my fall mix.


eric said...

my parents are going to the penn/mich. game. and my dad did not go to penn.
*runs out of the room, slams door behind him*

JV said...

We can't all be perfect...

thehauntedtooth said...

Oh, EV, how tarnished you now seem to me. The next time I see you, don't be shocked when I tackle you into the sand.